Friday, February 17, 2012

Who's Your Daddy: When Eric Clapton was Our Daughter's Daddy

Elanah has been toying with the idea of "daddy" lately. She hasn't been contemplating fatherhood and the role of "the father," but she has been identifying certain people as "daddy.

Darah went through a short phase when she was one year old, in which she would call certain men "daddy." She called Russ, a friend of ours, "Daddy" when he was reading a board book to her about cow who "eats straw and hay almost every day" on the train ride to Chicago for an MPA conference in 2009. We thought to ourselves, "Oh great, every man she meets is going to be Daddy." That didn't happen for more than a day or two. Thank goddesses. At this moment in time, Elanah is very interested in "Daddy." During the past few weeks, she has been talking a lot about Daddy. Imagine the various expressions on my face when she approaches me to cheerfully point to images of men and say, in her proud and defiant new-found way, "daaaaaahdee."

The first time Elanah mentioned Daddy was when I was organizing CDs on our CD shelf after we had hardwood floors put into our house. She brought Eric Clapton over to me (on the "August" CD cover) and held him in front of my face, pointing and saying "Dah-dee. Daaaaah-dee." I said, "Oh, that's Daddy?" Then I laughed. I thought she must be thinking of her biological father, since they look alike with the beard and all. I asked her if it was him, and she said, "No, Dah-deeeeee." I said, "Elanah, you have two mommies. You don't have a daddy." Then she put the CD right in front of my face and said, "DAH-DEE." I said, "Okay, that can be your daddy. Eric Clapton can be Elanah's Daddy." I then told her to bring Daddy to her other mother.

She showed her other mother, who laughed and acknowledged her Daddy; and then she brought it back to me, set it on my lap and pointed to it. She said, quietly and with a very impish smile on her face, "Dah-dee." I said, "Are you sure you want this to be your daddy?" She became more insistent with her "DAHHHH-DEEEs" until I cut her off and said, "Okay, give Daddy back to me, I need to put him on the shelf with the others." I was still convinced that Daddy might be based on Bearded Adam, but what happened the next day threw me for a loop.

I was going through some old photos for scanning and purging purposes, and she came upon a photo of Joey from his Freshman year of high school at W-EAST. She held it up and started breathing shallow, excited, breaths. "Dah-dee," she exclaimed joyously in her sing-song voice. She hugged the photo to her belly. I said, "That's Uncle Joey." "No, Dah-dee," she insisted. "Do you think Uncle Joey is Daddy?" "Yah, Dah-dee. DAH-dee." "Okay, Uncle Joey can be Daddy. I approve." "She ran away to the other side of the room and sat, staring at young Joey. Then she brought it back to me and kissed the photo. I said, "Aw, you love your Uncle Joey!" She said, "Yah" and, kissing it again, smiled and said, "Daaaah-deee."

That faded away over time and Uncle Joey stopped being Daddy. For the past week or so, her other mother has been Daddy. Which, in a way, is as it should be. If anyone is going to be Daddy, I suppose it should be her other mother (... or Eric Clapton). When she sees images of an adult woman and an adult man in a book, she will point and say, "Mommy ah Daddy."

Elan's other mother is most consistently her daddy; but Eric Clapton does rival her in that status at times. Yesterday, Elanah brought me a photo of Darah that was in my stationary box in my nightstand drawer. The side and back of her biological father's head are in the photo. She pointed to the image and said, "Dah-dee." I said, "Do you think Adam is Daddy?" "Yah. Ah. No. No. Daaaah-dee." It was unclear to me whether or not she made the Adam-Daddy connection. I said, "It's okay if that's Daddy." I left it at that, because I was trying to study for the GREs.

When her biological father was visiting with the girls later in the afternoon, I told him about the photo incident. Again, I asked Elanah if he was Daddy. She said, "Yah-Nooooooo." Then she came and pointed at my knee and said, "Dah-dee." I was kind of happy to have her call me Daddy. That just goes to show how chameleon-like "Daddy" really is in this house. Even I can be Daddy sometimes. While we were laughing at Elanah's Daddy-mind-changing, she ran over to the CD shelf and began taking out CDs. I knew what, or who, she was looking for. Daddy, of course. "Looking for Eric Clapton?" "Yah. Yah, yah, yah," she said, bouncing up and down. I pulled him out (the CD out) and handed it to her. "Here you are." "Dah-dee!" She ran the CD over and showed us Daddy. She held "August" with both hands against her chest and said, "Dah. Dee." I said, "Okay. That's Daddy. Do you love your Daddy?" "Yah." "Do you want me to put this somewhere in your room so you can see Daddy whenever you want." "Yeaaaah."

Elanah ran Eric Clapton Daddy into her bedroom and put it on her orange rocking chair. I said, "Let's put him up here so you can see him and so no one sits on him." And that was that. The Daddy saga will continue, I'm sure. As new developments come in, you can be sure you'll hear it first here with your dedicated and dependable Channel Mother News Team. Elanah's Daddy was Eric Clapton yesterday. Who will be her Daddy next... Don't miss the latest up-to-date Daddy News. Stay tuned.

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