Monday, August 16, 2010

Truth, or Truth?

Cute things Wizard Kids Say... and Status Updates

Jessica Mason McFadden
Dar said: "Is naptime over?"
Mummy heard: "Is it naptime, mother?"
Mummy said: "Yes." (Very cheerfully, smiling because she thought Darah called her "mother.")
Darah said: "Oh. Yay. I det to dance now!" (Sitting up, looking so happy.)
Mummy said: "Oh, Darah, honey. I thought you said, 'Is it naptime, mother.' You can't get up to dance yet, it's still quiet time."
Darah: (Gets a horrified, disappointed, sad-sad look on her face.) (Starts sobbing inconsolably.) (Then starts ...shrieking.)
Then, a bit later:
Darah: "I'm donna read a book."
Mummy: "Okay, but do it quietly"
Darah: (Gets book. Looks at first page.) "I tan't weed dees words. I need you to weed dem."
Mummy: "Honey, I can read them to you after naptime. If you want to read the book, you have to read it quietly."
Darah:(Starts shrieking.) (Continues shrieking and getting off the bed.)
Mummy: "Darah if you don't lie down on the bed, I am going to lie with you and hold you there."
Darah: (Continues crying, screaming, holding her breath, kicking.)
Mummy: (Holds Darah and kisses her and tries to be strong while Darah fights.)
Darah: (Finally falls asleep.)
In the meantime --
Elanah: (Cries and squeals, standing at the crib, hysterical)
After --
Elanah: (Gets picked up, stops crying, sucks on mummy's elbow, grunts, smiles.)
At present moment --
Mummy: (Eats thrice reheated roasted broccoli.)

Jessica Mason McFadden: got Dar down for the nap, after two hours, and is proud of herself for not caving and being consistent! Whew, it ain't easy.

Jessica Mason McFadden anyone know of any natural remedies for excema?

Jessica Mason McFadden just can't stand the thought of having her children sleep across the house from her, and wants to be in close proximity to them while she sleeps. Is this crazy or understandable?

Jessica Mason McFadden needs to stop breastfeeding Elanah a gazillion times in the night.

Jessica Mason McFadden is listening to the rain smacking against the window.

Jessica Mason McFadden Eve couldn't resist fruit. Can you blame her?

Jessica Mason McFadden While typing on the computer, Dar says, slowly: "By Dawah Otter McFadden."

Jessica Mason McFadden hates having to watch Schindler (a goldfish we've had for a little over a year) die a slow, slow death...he's been floating around on the floor and in the fake foliage all day, he seems disoriented and weak, and now he's against the filter but too weak to move...we tried to help him away from the filter a number of times...but now he's just there, dying, and there isn't much we can do to help him.

Jessica Mason McFadden Dar, sitting at the computer: "I dotta do some email. I'm Facebookin'"

Jessica Mason McFadden Jess: "I want you to ask politely and say please." Dar: "Well, it's not donna happen. Mommy doh in da titcken and det my pantake."

Jessica Mason McFadden is, like you, a creature of hormones...but why, why must they come back so soon???

Jessica Mason McFadden has a daughter who is unhappy unless she is attached to her hip at (almost) all times.

Jessica Mason McFadden had the mango bubble tea smoothie from Little Saigon, ran away from a peacock who approached her while she was breastfeeding on a bench at the Henson Robinson Zoo, and swam in the pool with Missy and the girls and her hairy legs at Margaret's house. What a day!

Jessica Mason McFadden reflecting on my "ego" tonight, and realizing that I am still trying to be the "leader" that I, naturally, am not (though I am capable of becoming a leader, it takes time...)

Jessica Mason McFadden Dar: "I don't wan it to be quiet time. I don't wanna do quiet (twiet) time. I wanna be in a cranky (canky) moooood. I wwwanna be fussy!"

Jessica Mason McFadden likes that Darah and Elanah are starting to play together.

Jessica Mason McFadden is excited to have Missy and Mom here for a few days!

Jessica Mason McFadden does not understand why any person would want to wear a thong (aka Butt Floss)! But(t), if you feel otherwise, please enlighten me (visual images are not necessary...).

Jessica Mason McFadden just realized she went out with two different earrings on today...and I might do something like that on purpose, but it wasn't on purpose!

Jessica Mason McFadden Dar: "I'm not stared. I will never weave. I'm not donna weave adain 'cause I'm stared of da lion's eyes."

Jessica Mason McFadden knows that sometimes things just don't work out as planned...

Jessica Mason McFadden misses tom yum soup and calamari, but things could be much worse.

Jessica Mason McFadden finds it ironic that she likes it when Darah calls her "Jessybird." 


Jessica Mason McFadden is finding Dar's new phrase entertaining: "He sure doos." "I sure do." "They sure doos."

Jessica Mason McFadden has a strong, strong aversion to cilantro (not sure why, but I cannot stand it...it bothers me and I try to challenge myself mentally because I love most other herbs, but I just cannot...aaaack)...

Jessica Mason McFadden Darah sings a little song as I put on her underwear: "I don' wan' to but I has to, I don' wan' but I has to." / Later, as Dar continues to take cotton swab after cotton swab out of the drawer. Mummy: "Okay, we're leaving this room. Come on, get outta here." Darah: (Stomps foot, lightly.) "I don't has to leave. Dis is my basroom. I wiv here!"

Jessica Mason McFadden  As she picks up each magazine, Darah announces: "By Dawah McFadden." "By Ehnana McFadden." "By the Family."

Jessica Mason McFadden Sandy: "Do you want to be a doctor when you grow up?" Darah: "Noooo. I don't want to be a doctor, I want to be a pig!"

Jessica Mason McFadden will not be at the library this morning, see you all next week! (Elan is still fevering...)

Jessica Mason McFadden is getting nervous about Elanah's fever...she's had a fever for five days; last night was very bad and the fever was at 101.4 (under arm)...went to the doctor today, she said it is prob a viral infection but no other signs and her temp was 99.7 at doc...now it's night and her temp is 102.5 (arm - so if I add a point that would be an oral/rectal of like 103.5?). I hate not knowing what to do and when to do something.

Jessica Mason McFadden wants to get a baby gate play yard fence thing for Elanah - will it actually make my life easier?

Jessica Mason McFadden in the days of teething - fever, biting, crying, fussing, moaning, drooling included!

Jessica Mason McFadden Well, tonight Darah requested McDonalds for dinner. "I wan milk. An fies. An a buhhhhguhhh." Oh dear! We granted her request...here we go...

Jessica Mason McFadden doesn't know how some women have to care for kids of varying ages AND prepare dinner every night. I am SO lucky to have Sandy, who prepares yummy and healthy dinners for us every night.

Jessica Mason McFadden is so proud of Dar for all this peeing and pooping on the potty...thanks to the help of freeze pops and stickers!

Jessica Mason McFadden anyone know of good U-Pick farms near Macomb?

Jessica Mason McFadden is delighting in Sandy's Famous Parsley Pasta! mmmm, parsley. so good.

Jessica Mason McFadden hates the naptime struggle that happens every single day...any suggestions on taming or stopping the insanity?

Jessica Mason McFadden is unpacking

Jessica Mason McFadden always used to prefer DARE over TRUTH as a kid.

Jessica Mason McFadden had too much grilled salmon TOO late at night...now sleepy but scared!

Jessica Mason McFadden Salmon before bed = strange experiences.

Jessica Mason McFadden what is with the earwigs appearing around the house? is there some mythical significance of these creatures and their love house-water?

Jessica Mason McFadden took about fifty pictures of Darah eating cotton candy for the first time.

Jessica Mason McFadden thinks Sandy is so clever for thinking that the earwig floating in the fish tank this morning was actually a reconstituted shrimp from the fish food container!

Jessica Mason McFadden has always loved glasses.

Jessica Mason McFadden wants a weather radio.

Jessica Mason McFadden Me: "Darah, I told you not to throw toys. You might hurt Elanah. Please stop." Dar:" I was just jokin'." Sandy: "Even if you're joking, Darah, it's not okay to do that." Dar: "It's otay. I's jus dokin'. I'm just a puwson. I jus doos dat. I's just a puwson who doos things, i's nah ah pwoblem. But, uhm, I'm dust a wooman."

Jessica Mason McFadden is thinking about her dad today - he's (generally) a very sociable, personable, funny, and smart person...love you, Dad!

Jessica Mason McFadden is havin' a great day!

Jessica Mason McFadden Mummy: "Darah is the child of Mummy. Darah is Mummy's first child." Darah: "Penguii (Delores Penguii the Punching Bag Penguin) is the child of Dawah. Penguii is the child of me."

Jessica Mason McFadden Dar's exact words: "Penguii is my child of me."

Jessica Mason McFadden Dar exclaims, "Oh, Dustin Fever (Justin Bieber)! He's wike (like) an otter."

Jessica Mason McFadden loves my youngest brother, Joey. It's his birthday today and he wants crawfish.


Jessica Mason McFadden loves Elanah's pounce-crawl and squishy cheeks.

Jessica Mason McFadden castration as an alternative to the death penalty.

Jessica Mason McFadden tv out of bedroom. food out of bed. butt out of bed.

Jessica Mason McFadden has to get her mind off of that to get some sleep.

Jessica Mason McFadden some things are unfathomable and too horrible to bear

Jessica Mason McFadden was THAT kind of grrrrrrrl

Jessica Mason McFadden will not mind if life gives her lemons...lemons are yummy.

Jessica Mason McFadden Dar comes to the shower door and says, "You need a towel?" Then she delivers a towel to me. Later, while looking at photos of ants, Dar says, "I wike ants. I has ta till (kill) dem but I don't wike it."

Jessica Mason McFadden oh, no. boob flu, again? better see a doc this time...

Jessica Mason McFadden relies on nap time for quiet and peace and doesn't like it when both girls decide that neither of them is willing to take one...why do our children dislike sleeping so much?

Jessica Mason McFadden cheers to and memories of another Golden Girl (who I actually spent a week with!), Rue McClanahan! RIP...

Jessica Mason McFadden had a better rest last night - it makes a HUGE difference...happy morning!

Jessica Mason McFadden may not be halfway to her peak performance as a momma today, but whatchya gonna do.

Jessica Mason McFadden wishes she and Darah and Elanah weren't up for almost four hours in the middle of the night last night...crib-bed-crib-bed...ah, I hope this is a growth spurt.

Jessica Mason McFadden Dar: "Come on, Fwy. Wet me det you fwy. Fwy, wet me hit you. Just doh away, Fwy. Die. Die. Die." Me: "What are you doing?" Dar "Dus twyin to det a fwy away. Twyin to det dis fwy, but it won't wo-ok..."

Jessica Mason McFadden had a great day...loved the fun with the baby pool and the screened tent Sandy bought for me (shade, bug free, fan in tent)...now if only Elanah wasn't screaming all through the grilled veggie dinner. :)

Jessica Mason McFadden had a sudden onset of debilitating dizziness...has felt dizzy (and headachy) for the past hour or so...why does this happen and what to do?

Jessica Mason McFadden wakes up every 1.2 to 2 hours in the night with Elanah and has been for a couple of months now...I wonder how continually interrupted sleep is affecting me?

Jessica Mason McFadden was singing "This Ole House" lyrics this afternoon, and Darah looks at me with much concern and insistence, and says, "Um, I NEED this house. I neeeeed it."

Jessica Mason McFadden Dar just ripped a piece of toilet paper off the roll and started wiping the toilet bowl, lid, handle, top...everything. "I'm teanin' it wike you do, Mommy."

Jessica Mason McFadden is glad the refrigerator is working again...300 dollars later...

Jessica Mason McFadden is happy, on a personal level, for all of the heterosexual people who are having big weddings with wedding showers and wedding ceremonies and wedding parties. But, on a personal-political level, is a little pissed that she never took advantage of some of those heteronormative/heterosexual privileges. I probably could have tried, but at the time it didn't seem feasible.

Jessica Mason McFadden has had a coupla dreams about turning on the television and learning that Angela Lansbury has died (and breaking into BIG tears at the news) over the past few months...what does this mean, Dream Interpreters of Facebook?

Jessica Mason McFadden is happy that Sandy has survived another semester (a busy one, at that). I hope she can enjoy a bit of a mental break. I love her!

Jessica Mason McFadden wonders how the Anchor Bar feels about Pres. Obama's visit to Duffs? I don't eat wings anymore, but I remember how dirty those floors looked (even in the dark). Elmos served me some excellent Buffalo Shrimp last summer; I plan to return to their dark yet less dirty-looking establishment. How could the Wing King go up against Bobby Flay (in a Throw Down) with a barbeque wing? That's not a Buffalo Style chicken wing!

Jessica Mason McFadden wonders why the Republican National Committee thinks I am a member of the party and sends me a letter and census document, asking me to donate my money to stop the "liberal agenda for America." They've got the wrong gal! 


Jessica Mason McFadden is lucky to be a mom, lucky to be married to a mom, lucky to have a mom of her own, and lucky to know so many great moms. Happy Mother's Day!

Jessica Mason McFadden is starting to think Elan has some deep rooted psych issues with the sounds of running water and vacuum cleaners. White noise doesn't put her to sleep; it just pisses the hell out of her. The screams are unreal. And then when I pick her up - poof, silence.

Jessica Mason McFadden ‎::: While helping me clean, Darah holds a paper towel up to the refrigerator and says, "Just wike a picture!." Then she stuffs it in her diaper and says, "I better put it in my butt, to (for) later. Wook at me, Mommy. Wook at my butt!"

Jessica Mason McFadden cannot believe this piece of crap dresser just fell on top of Darah (when she yanked open the top drawer)...scared the sh*t out of me!

Jessica Mason McFadden is having Potty Day with Darah (our current Thursday ritual of cloth diapers and naked butts and lots of trips to the potty...for Dar, not me!)...

Jessica Mason McFadden wonders if humans were really meant to drink milk, especially from cows, and finds it ironic/preposterous that humans are willing to drink from cows' teats but are presumably uncomfortable with the human act of public breastfeeding. How would you feel if you found out that human breastmilk creamed your coffee?

Jessica Mason McFadden wishes Elanah wouldn't scream bloody murder several times a day...like when she tries to do a few dishes...whew....sigh.

Jessica Mason McFadden weah ah youuu? i twide tahwin' you buh tou di'in't ant-ser...

Jessica Mason McFadden is listening to the "Annie" album (movie version) with Darah...after hearing the song about Sandy the dog, Darah says "Wheah's dat Momma Sandy dog?"

Jessica Mason McFadden is thinking I shouldn't have wasted nap time on the computer!

Jessica Mason McFadden ‎::: Darah's sassy breakfast announcement: "I want bad food, Mommy!"

Jessica Mason McFadden ‎::: whew, teething can be hell...and it can last for months, on and off, torturing families!!!

Jessica Mason McFadden had a nice mother's day bath this morning...chai tea in a wine glass, a candle and the Kindle. Thank you, Honey!

Jessica Mason McFadden is just gonna have to pass on the Live Active Cultures in Kemp's Tangy Vanilla frozen yogurt. I couldn't even get through half the bowl...

Jessica Mason McFadden thinks it's funny that, despite the hell of being pregnant, she is in the OB at MDH for thirty minutes and starts getting teary-eyed, wanting to do it all over again. Is it hormones, an addiction, some evolutionary device? Was there oxytocin in the air? (Welcome Baby Oliver!!!)

Jessica Mason McFadden enjoys the dreary and the windy (not as much, though, when I am taking the girls in the wagon and our hats have flown off in the distance).


Jessica Mason McFadden ‎: Elan had a fever last night and has one this morning (she three immunization shots and a flu shot yesterday)...should I be concerned?

Jessica Mason McFadden ‎::: Dar tells me as we're getting out of the car, "Mummy, I dohn want you to be talkin' to pee-poh at pway doop. Cuz I dus wan you to be talkin' to Dawah."


Jessica Mason McFadden ‎::: Upon seeing Melissa Etheridge lying down at the end of the "Refugee" video, Dar says, "It's Baby Jesus." That's what I'm talkin' 'bout!

Jessica Mason McFadden is tired and hasn't picked up around here...the laundry calls and I say "I'll be there in a minute," but I don't really mean it.

Jessica Mason McFadden ‎::: like this kid who rear-ended us a few months ago...after checking for damage, he got back in his car and continued driving...when we pulled up next to him at the light, he was TEXTING AND SMOKING A CIGARETTE (BOTH HANDS!!!)...he hits us, even sees that we have two small children in the back, and then gets in his car and IMMEDIATELY starts again IN FRONT OF US. What the hell is wrong with people?

Jessica Mason McFadden needs to sit in a charger for a couple of hours and RE-CHARGE...but I don't have an outlet on me.

Jessica Mason McFadden ‎::: Dar says, "This is to my friend, Me." Then she replies to herself (as Me), saying, "Thank you."

Jessica Mason McFadden thinks her blood sugar was/is out of whack today
::: is surprised that Dar is aware of time...she knows it's Thursday without knowing it's Thursday...she knows the cycle of the week, anyway. She just said, "I wanna doh someweah. I wanna doh to tindermooseek (Kindermusik)." Thursdays were our night for Kmusik...but it's over now (for good) and I haven't mentioned it to her all week. Aw.

Jessica Mason McFadden had a nice day, though there were some goodbyes...Darah had a blast with the Masons: "Untow Doey, I don't wan chue to weave. Doon weave me, Damma Sue!"


Jessica Mason McFadden is playing dolls with Darah and she picks up one of the dolls and says (in persona or voice of doll), "I'm goin' to da princess dance." Where does she come up with this stuff? And MORE: "She's a princess. She wants to go to a movie adventure." "Oooh, look at him. He's pretty." I just picked up a Barbie and asked "where... is she going?" Dar responds, "She's goin' to a bawl dame (game)."


Jessica Mason McFadden ‎::: Upon waking, Darah said to us this morning: "Are da bees wakin' up? Awuh da wady bugs wakin' up? And I'm wakin' up, too-oo?"

Jessica Mason McFadden ‎::: I say to Darah, "We like honesty in this family." She responds, "I like to dance."

Jessica Mason McFadden ‎::: I am being summoned by Darah ("I wanna pway dotcar. Wite now. I wanna pway dotcar set wis you now." "I'm scawed ah da choo choo twain. Ah better howd me. Wans you to tarry me.")

‎::: Men can go out in their yards and mow their lawns shirtless without a second thought, but a woman who tries to give her baby what's best for her and breastfeeds in public (usually discreetly, too) receives scrutiny. Why are humans so uncomfortable with their bodies? And why do we (as a society) both glorify and condemn the natural state of female bodies? The Female Body is not free. She's still in confinement.

Diana Dukhanova: I read your blog for the first time today, and I just want to throw my support behind the title of Cunt Diatribe. WIN.


Jessica Mason McFadden thinks being a baby who can't walk or sit up on her own must be the most frustrating thing...

Jessica Mason McFadden it's sunday, do things need to get done?

Jessica Mason McFadden why do i have to chase after and nag my parents; shouldn't it be the other way around? - a powerless child, still.

Jessica Mason McFadden smells like chlorine


Jessica Mason McFadden is in the crying room...or, tantrum central

Jessica Mason McFadden ‎::: what to do when creative writing (and even semi-honesty) hurts and embarrasses others? to be a writer means one must have strained relationships with most of the world? it would seem so. i can be sorry for hurting them...or, better yet, sorry for their hurt...and still choose to write and do it again. the principle.... the power. the word. the writer must be isolated, to some degree.

Jessica Mason McFadden wishes Elanah slept more soundly and I didn't have to jump up twelve times in the night so I could wake up feeling fresh rather than sicky and tired and cold.

Jessica Mason McFadden is trying to train herself to use vinegar as a daily cleaner...


Jessica Mason McFadden ‎wants to know if anyone else is being conquered by the Asian Lady Beetles coming out of the walls to find the light...they are back, hundreds of them in our house...can you sense my inner struggle...I don't like extermination, but come on...

‎::: Too much water in the tea kettle...water overflowed...flame grew...sizzle, sizzle...I say to Darah, "Oh, a fire started," and she responds, "Oooh. I'm warm." Earlier I asked her, "Did you have a nice nap?" She responded, "Pretty much. I's pretty much in Darah Bed. I pooped in Darah Bed. I'm all better now, I have a diaper on. I wanna be naked. I'm playin' with kids. I better do something. Get in the chair (to the "kids")."

Jessica Mason McFadden loves that, to Darah, the wind is a living being (human-like) with agency.

Jessica Mason McFadden is up late working on poetry, hoping Elanah won't wake up five times in the night tonight...off to bed now.

Jessica Mason McFadden is hanging out with her pack, and it's so nice (Dar is making dinner on the floor with dried navy beans while Sandy makes dinner at the stove with coconut milk, stewed tomatoes, curry powder, lemon, and fish).

Jessica Mason McFadden has loved Darah's big, froggy smile from the first time she saw in in the ultrasound photograph...

Jessica Mason McFadden ‎::: After eating the Squasharoni, Dar holds her tummy and says, "My tummy hurts. I ate too much tandy (candy). I need tovers (covers)." And then, once in bed, she says, "I have fever. I need my book. I need lion (the book is about a lion)." She really did eat too much candy today!

Jessica Mason McFadden is gonna paint a dozen eggs with the fam and post about three hundred pictures of them on Facebook, and it wouldn't surprise you, would it.


Jessica Mason McFadden celebrating fertility and the birth/rebirth portion of the life cycle this weekend - we kicked it off today with an egg hunt at the library and a visit to Farm King (where we visited with rabbits and chicks and deer heads...)
Frank Adolf Love those Easter egg hunts. We do an annual one with our kids.
Happy Easter and hope the bunny is good to the kids.


Jessica Mason McFadden Dar, while playing with plastic tools, says, "Momma Si. She's my best friend. I'm gettin' ready to fix Momma Si. Do somethin' new! I fix her. Comin' to get you Mammi Si. And I say chase me. Really loud! I gonna take a walk with her." Then she proceeds to sing a song "Maaaa Maaaa Siiiiii...da da da da..."

Jessica Mason McFadden has finally had one of her poems accepted for publication by a poetry journal (a queer/lesbian e-mag). She feels encouraged to start working on her writing again. YAY!

Jessica Mason McFadden felt like a Chia Pet, at first. The initial stubble turned into plastic grass (you know, the kind that covers concrete). Now it's between that and the texture of a shoe-cleaning doormat. (OnlyDarisallowedtorubherfootonmyhead, though.) It reminds me of those metal/plastic rods that you press your face and hands into - the ones that take the shape of you, the ones you find in the Imagination sector at Disney World.

Jessica Mason McFadden As we're leaving RumbleTumble, Darah says, "Wead did awoh da peepow doh (Where did all the people go)?" Now, runningaroundtheroomincircles, she says: "Mummy, I'm tastin' da tids. I'm pwayin' wis dem (I'm chasing the kids. I'm playing with them). She brings me a plastic cup with a plastic egg in it: "Heeows some egg duce (Here's some egg juice)." Andherlatestsong: "Underwear, underwear, underweaaaaah." I wuv dis tid!


Jessica Mason McFadden At Parent-Tot swim, Darah says "I doon wike dat song" over and over throughout the swim song.

Jessica Mason McFadden ‎::: As disturbing as this was/might be, I dreamed last night that I was in a film experiment called "The Art of Genocide." We were being used as pawns to expose the inner workings of genocide. We did not know until later what was happening. "They" were "removing" us, one by one. And we were terrified by our powerlessness.

Jessica Mason McFadden is thrilled when Darah tries something new...like lemon couscous soup...yay.

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