Tuesday, August 18, 2009

Pregnancy Status Updates: My Life, as Revealed by Facebook Status Updates

Jessica Mason McFadden (oldest to most recent)

is on meds for heartburn and will soon be on beta blockers for high heart rate....hmmm...

is not the owner of this land or anything else

is not wondering why

is pleading with the gods that she not wake up inhaling/choking on her acid reflux in the middle of the night...second trimester is The Golden Period, eh?

is happy grampy day

thinks it is so funny that Darah ordered Sandy to drop the television remote to read her a story this morning by saying (or commanding/ordering), "Down."

just ate a coffee ice cream in a waffle bowl with fudge sauce and chocolate chips on top and then had three chocolate covered pretzels that sandy bought her...(uhhhh, i have to eat all of my deserts in the afternoon to avoid acid reflux incidents in ...the middle of the night...so I really "do it up")

is grateful for the luxury three inch thick and extra dense memory foam that Sandy bought her as a "pregnancy gift" - it provides a bit of loving care and relief for my aching bones...

is whoa Michael Jackson - time to watch the news -

knows everything is an illusion - life, death, and every other concept we think of...everything we experience...every reality will eventually be dust.

wonders why Darah woke up crying and asking for "milk" in the middle of the night...for the first time ever...growth spurt?

is grateful to anyone who can save a Macomb Journal for her because Darah's picture is on the last page (thanks for letting us know, Paula!!!)

doesn't like it that companies like Verizon Wireless are in cahoots with scammers that fall under the category of "Premium Text Data" (or "Ringtones)...errrr.

awaits the arrival of Darah's twin bed

has one babyfetus and one sleeping toddler stacked on top of her and half a tub of Ben and Jerry's Coffee Heath Bar Crunch somewhere in the mix

wonders if you have any strong opinions about ("sippy") cups for toddlers...since I am trying to find the best thing out there and weighing all of the pros/cons

feels as though her pelvic bone is parting, as well as all of her organs...but it was so worth it to take Darah for a wagon ride in this never-quite stormy yet COOL climate

is distressed because Darah woke up crying hysterically and inconsolably in the night and would not communicate with us or give us any signs of what was wrong...

doesn't want Darah to have any more "night terrors" - more like Mummy Terrors.

is gonna enjoy the rain, the incense, the packing, the bathing with her family before she and Dar leave town to visit Buffalo with Adam

misses Sandy even though she hasn't even left town yet

is in Buffalo with Darah

is so tired but wishes she had Sandy to snuggle

is trying to plan what she will do for the next few days in Buffalo - call my cell or send a message if you'd like to try to meet up at any point (to, say, meet Darah)

just opened the door of the Mason's refrigerator and got covered in a jumbo size container of Frank's hot sauce...so did the whole kitchen...it's on nearly every surface including the ceiling...too much food for one fridge and people carelessly shoving things in...now I am hiding in the bedroom

is clean and uninjured but still neurotic and vigilant.

was afraid of the antique hatchet after seeing "Friday the 13th" when she was five years old, but Grams, she, put it on my lap and let me feel the edge to see that it wasn't sharp. She thinks she erased my kid fears by letting me feel ...it and she tells the story with pride, but little does she know I'm still afraid (I do, however, take showers with the door closed occasionally now). I find horror films disturbing.

is sick from the neck up with a sinus infection...and Dar has a baby version of it...

is so freaking sick it's really ridiculous...cut off her head, she said!
(Yeah, it sucks. But not as badly as nausea and the chills suck. It's all in my facial/head region. It was tough raspberry picking today with it. But had it not been tough because of that, then it would have because of my big belly and aching pelvic bone. And had it not been tough because of that, then it would have because of my discomfort with the insect world. :) I am glad you got to Bob's in time. Stay away from me!!!! And thank you, Alex.)

thinks it's funny that people think I am days away from giving birth when they see my belly...and I am actually months (about four) away from giving birth...

is in Buffalo for one more day...why does Macomb have to be thirteen hours away???

enjoying a lazy day home with San and Dar...and is so happy to be with SANDY!!!

hates that she let Darah fall off the stool at the sink and smack her head on the tile...errr, goose eggs...errr, injuries...

is laughing so hard because Darah picks up the cell phone (and camera) and says "Hi Sue" (Gramma Sue) every time...then she takes it over to each of her stuffed animals and plastic little people and holds it against their heads saying, "Ah Sue" and "Ish Sue."

is gonna see a tiny appendage tomorrow morning

and Sandy are going to have another "girl" baby (a vulva appeared on the screen!) - Darah is going to have a little sister!!!!

is finding it hard to decide on a name and wonders why no one makes a tuna pot pie...

had trouble sleeping last night...was itching all over and didn't know what to do!

is hungry yet hesitant to eat at restaurants in Macomb

is going to go in the other room and make Sandy go to bed...

is gonna change a dirty darah bum and then put the darah in for her nap

dreads the idea of sleeping with all of the itchiness and aches for three more months but knows that it's a lot better than being nauseous...and would love to soar through August on into September...oh no, wait, then I would be avoiding the expe...rience of pain rather than being at peace with it...argh.

is, sometimes, under the illusion that she can control things and then, sometimes, gets angry when something happens that makes it obvious that she cannot

possibly amazed that Darah seemed to say "Paula Deen" ("Pauah teen") twice in a row when we passed her show on the Food Network this morning...even though we haven't watched her in months...could it be? Must be all the fun sh...e had with her cousins from England - intellectual stimulation, for sure.

likes a one and a half foot pool with lifeguards on all sides but thinks it should also have shade trees instead of the biggest wasp she's ever seen - ouch...

has a daughter whose pretend games include a lot of phrases like "no, please" and "banana? no banana" and who unknowingly shoplifts Macomb Bombers tee-shirts from corrupt local megastores (a lesson in retail honesty was required!)...

is not sure what to do about Darah's pacifier use....and not sure what to do about her own anxiety over it...I didn't use a pacifier for too long as a kid, but look at me: I still bite my nails at 24...argh

has gained about thirty five pounds so far and three months to go...and then she just read that the baby only weighs 2.5 lbs...funny thing.

has her eyes on something lovely...now if only she could get off her bum and go to it!

's daughter, Darah, calls Mummy's belly "bobby seeter"

needs her wife to cut the pills in thirds

loves Sandy and Darah and is very, very grateful

likes cool, dark days and gentle breezes

is so impressed that Sandy can move any piece of furniture, at almost any weight, up and down flights of stairs ON HER OWN...and she just did that today...the whole family room set went down and the stuff from the lower level came up.

is now land-line free...only cell and Skype from here on out!

is finishing almost half a pound of rice crackers...mmm, seaweed.

thinks that watching Darah and Sandy dance to R&B this morning was one of the cutest things ever...Darah was grooving, she was really feeling it.

tells him that the one thing that cannot be found, given, created or taken away by any person or thing is himself.

is expanding, still.

is excited for Sandy to make her another belly cast

's daughter just pretended to call Grandma Sue and said, "Sue, how are the beagles? I love you." ("Ah Sue, how ah the beadulls, I wuv you").

looks like a little mouse...and that is all fine and good, except if someone (like my wife in a former profession) mistakes me for a mouse and removes my brain in a laboratory...then I would look like a brain or a headless mouse carcass...and I guess... it wouldn't matter would it, because I wouldn't care would I?

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