Tuesday, March 3, 2009

I am in Hell (or at least Down in the Dumps)

I feel horrible every second of every day. It's been going on for over a week now, and I expect it to last for the next two months. Every day is torture.

I feel nauseous.

My intestines are in knots and doing all sorts of strange things (things that feel sickening and creepy).

I have the chills. And sometimes my eyes burn and water.

I have a bad taste in my mouth that never goes away.

Brushing my teeth makes me gag. After I brush them, I have to do a lot of spitting in the shower.

The heartburn is very unpleasant. After I eat, my insides (stomach and intestines and chest) burn.

I cannot think about or face food. The kitchen is a Dead Zone for me. But I have to run in there sometimes. Yesterday, I tried to get some food out of the refrigerator. I almost passed out and vomited. I ended up crawling back to the couch and calling Sandy to ask her to come home from work to feed us lunch.

Sleeping is the only thing that feels good. Waking up is torture. Every morning, I dread that time - between six and seven - when Darah wakes up and I know it is time to feel the pain again.

I am congested and snotty.

I am tired and weak.

The nausea is the worst. Anything but nausea. It's hard because I feel sick when my stomach is empty. I get very sick on an empty stomach. But then when I eat, I feel sick (the inside of me catches fire) afterward.

All of this falls on the shoulders of Sandy. She has been doing everything. So we are both down in The Dumps. I don't know about Darah. I figure it must rub off on her. She's probably down in The Dumps, too, though I doubt she's in Hell. More television watching, less fun with Mummy J.

I lick salt off of pretzel rods for a tiny bit of relief.

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