Thursday, February 12, 2009

Darah is Excommuncated from Playgroup for Not Being "at Risk"


Well, this morning I was sad because I was told that Darah can no longer attend playgroup at Early Beginnings. The programs are funded by grants, and are meant to serve families who are "at risk." What exactly is "at risk?" It's broadly defined and determined by at home and on location evaluations of parents and children. Darah lives in a two-parent home, has a mother with a B.A., is within the "average" range of gross motor-fine motor-communication-etc skills, and does not live with a family member for whom English is a second language. Apparently, because of the struggling economy, the program facilitators are no longer going to be inclusive and allow all families to participate. I would pay for Darah to go (she and I enjoy going THAT much), but I can't pay. It's a free service run through the government. So Darah can't go to playgroup anymore. I'm so sad. For us both. She really loves going. She plays with friends and with so many cool toys. I get to see the friendly, familiar faces of other moms. But not anymore.

It feels bad to not be allowed to come anymore. Darah deserves to play there just as much as anyone else. But she's not "at risk." I'm happy she's not "at risk." Very happy about that. I just want her to play with other little ones outside of her house (since she spends almost all her time at home with ME).

I am looking into other playgroups in town. Most of them are run through churches. I read a flier that I picked up at EB last week. My only concern is that, at the bottom, it says that it is for Christian women. I am not a Christian woman, so I feel sort of awkward about that.

Also, I know that it is not officially part of the paperwork for determining whether someone if "at risk" or not, but technically Darah could be just as "at risk" for social, emotional and cognitive developmental delays by virtue of being isolated - in a small town, having two moms who do not have familial support, having two moms who face hardships because of their status as a same-sex couple that other, heterosexual, couples may not face, having two moms who face hardships because they are not religiously affiliated. It's ironic because by Darah not being allowed to attend (and by me not being allowed to bring her nor to even pay for her to attend) playgroup, she is being put "at risk." So the grant, which is supposed to be helping "at risk" children, is, instead, making (some) children "at risk" by not being inclusive. Sandy and I have just been thinking about all of this lately. It's really about paperwork and fitting people into categories. So because we don't fit into the categories, our kid loses out on opportunities. Of course, in reality, I -as her mother- will do whatever I can to find her other opportunities. But, in theory, it is unfair. That's life for ya.

As far as pregnancy symptoms are concerned, I am burping quite a bit. I am queasy. I had trouble sleeping last night - cold and hot all night long (Darah's kicking body between us didn't help). I feel weak and dizzy.

Oh, and I am PREGNANT. Yes, yesterday afternoon I took a pregnancy test and found out that I am pregnant (a faint second pink line told me that). I am just under two weeks pregnant. I weigh 100.5 lbs. The baby will be due sometime around or between October 30 and November 1.

Ugh. Sandy and I had lunch at the Red Ox today. Yucky garlic taste that I burp up. I get that taste no matter what I order there. The waitress was very friendly, though, and we had a great time. I feel sick right now. Thank god I don't have to try to sleep yet.

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